Hearing Her Heart Beat

This Bright and beautiful face will be turning 9 this week!

It is hard to imagine that 9 years ago, this beautiful, wonderful, smart and sassy little girl came into my life. 

I always imagined that I would be thrilled when that special day came when I found out I was pregnant. Due to some "Lady Issues", I wasn't sure if I would have children. When I did get pregnant with Miss May, well.... I wasn't excited. In fact, I was angry. Ironic, I know! I had suffered a miscarriage a few months before and I was still dealing it. It took me a while to let go of the anger but I made peace with my God and myself. 

As many of you know, my own sweet Mother passed away in my 27th week of pregnancy with Miss May. Just three days later, my biological father assaulted me. I was slammed into a plate glass window with ten grown men on top of me. I was taken by ambulance to the Hospital and admitted to the ER, then immediately Labor and Delivery Triage. I was with my sister and my Uncle (my mothers twin). My mothers viewing was that night and I forced my sister to go because that is where she needed to be. My Uncle never left my side. 

Finally, Hotstuff arrived and stayed with me. Due to the trauma, I needed to monitored. I had the belly straps on and Miss Mays heart beat swished away for all to hear.  

Then something unexpected happened.... 

Her heart beat was gone. 

It was no where to be found. 

I don't remembered if I prayed. 

All I felt was faith and peace. 

I don't know how much time passed.... seconds... minutes... 

Then the most beautiful sound filled the room. 

It was her Heart. 

It was beating and it was stronger than ever. 

It was the most cherished sound I had ever witnessed. I can still hear it today. 

Then 21 minutes after midnight, on Super Bowl Sunday, Miss May was born into this great big world! She gave me purpose and rescued me from my grief. 

Nine years later, she still gives me purpose and with each passing day, her Heart gets stronger. 

Good Brothers and Mean Sisters

When the Sunday occasion calls for it, I will run down to the local convenient store and get myself a very large soda to get me through the rest of my weekend. Today after church, Bubba Jones was having a very hard time. Since Hotstuff and I went to Vegas this weekend, we had spent very little time with the kids.  I decided to take Bubba Jones and go get a soda together.

On the way to the store, I talked with Bubba Jones and got thing sorted out between us. He was feeling a lot better. We got to the store, got out of the car and Bubba Jones gave me a big hug. We went in and as usual I went for the soda machine. Bubba Jones didn't follow but instead went to the cooler. I found him getting a juice from the cooler but he had two of them in his hand.

"Mom, I am getting this one for me and this one for sister," he told me.

"You don't need to get her one. This is a special treat just for you," I said.

"I know but I don't want her to be sad that I got a something and she didn't," he replied. I gave in and let him get her a juice too.

"That is really nice of you to get something for your sister," I told him.

"Well, I am trying to be proactive. She is a mean sister but I am good brother,"  he said.

All I could think was: Yes, yes you are a good brother. Even when faced with a mean sister, you can still be a good brother.

Mawwwrige is what brings us togetha today!

My awesome Hotstuff and I will be celebrating 11 years of marriage this year. I am in awe. I am speechless. I am humbled.

Most marriages don't last as long as they are supposed to anymore. People just give up and don't try. They destroy what is great and joyful. Everyone deserves to be happy and every marriage deserves happiness.

Don't get me wrong there are some marriages that need to end. I have encountered a few of those along the way in my life. Those are the marriages that are destructive to (more than just) the husband and wife.

This week, Hotstuff and I had the opportunity to attend the wedding of Mr and Mrs Orgn Crushr; Hotstuffs younger brother. This was not the first marriage for either of them. In getting to know Mrs. Crushr I have learned a lot about her and things she has learned from her first marriage.

Watching this happy couple over the last month and even this weekend;  I discovered that there is so much more I could learn from my Hotstuff. I remembered the good there is in my marriage and the many things that are right about it. Just because we have been married for "a long time" doesn't mean we have reached a point where we have nothing else to learn, give or receive from one another. It means that we are just starting out in our journey of our lives. There are still conversations to be had, dates to still go on, discussions needed to be resolved and lots of cuddling to be done. Eleven years later, we are still newlyweds.