Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Requiem for a Gym...

Like the 6 billion other people in the world, I am sucker! I made New Years resolutions.

1. Stop Smoking- Done! I am not a smoker anyhow. I never set the bar to high for myself that way I know that I can't fail!

2. Save More money- which I will start doing next month. I think I said that last month... but most defintely next month... I did however see a cute pair of shoes on sales at Nordstrom's. That is considered saving... right?

3. Lose weight.

So I got the ball rolling last summer on the whole losing weight thing when I joined weight watchers. Well, that has taken me only so far. I have discovered that I can maintain my weight really well but not at the weight that I want to be. I still have 15 pounds to go. The next step was to join a gym and that is what I did. I join our local rec center and began "to work out" and discovered a few things.

1. I have gotten my butt kicked, I laughed my butt off and I have walked my butt off. So somebody please explain to me: WHY DO I STILL HAVE THIS MASSIVE BUTT???????? For crying out loud, I mean, I am sitting on king sized pillows for a derrière.
2. God is the coolest artist I have ever seen!!!! It is amazing the different body types there are out there. The different ways our bodies take shape is brilliant. There is a uniqueness to all of us. As I made this discovery, it reminded me of a " The Far Side comic". See below:
I figure my big problem is; that while God was creating me, he had some extra clay left over. Waste not, want not; as our parent told us.... so he slaped it on my toosh!

3. Hey, Twiggy! Yeah, you know who I am talkin to!!! Do the rest of us a favor and eat a brownie or a hot fudge sundae! Please, you ain't helpin my self esteem much.

So that is what I have discovered so far.... if I learn anymore, I will make sure to pass it along.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

The Funniest Bathroom Adventure EVER!

Our little family had the oppurtunity to visit the open house of the Draper Utah Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. What an amazing, beautiful and peaceful place to be... but that is not the point of this wonderful adventure. The open house of the temple was so incredibly organized. We met at a near by church and when you arrived at the church you watched a short video and then you boarded a bus to go through the temple (this was all done in groups). After the tour, we returned to the church where we parked and I had to use the bathroom! My bladder was about to explode, the trip home was 20 minutes and I was not going to have an accident. The weather had worsened, so the rain was coming down harder and the wind was blowing faster than a couple hours before. Miss May was with me and the two of us were running to the doors of the church. Before you get to the doors of the church you have to go down the stairs and when I hit the bottom of the stairs the wind hit is just right and blew my skirt into my face!!!!!
When I entered the church, I ran into a women that I had seen earlier and who looked strangley familar. I stopped and told her that she looked incredibly familar and I knew her from somewhere. Long story short, she and I knew each other from Oregon where we both grew up. We went to different high schools, graduated the same year, were in the same LDS stake and went to girls camp with one another. I was also friends with one of her cousins!!!
After I finished talking with this wonderful long lost friend (of sorts) I went into the bathroom. While I was in the stall, I heard a women talking to her daughter. The daughter could not have been more than 3 or 4 years old and was in the stall with her mom. There conversation happens as follows:
"We have got to hurry honey. Because after we are done, we are going to get on the bus to go to the temple," said the mom.
"Is that some kind of joke?" asked the daughter quite seriously!
"No, honey that is not a joke," the mother says calmly. "We are really getting on the bus to go up to the temple."
"That is funniest joke I have ever heard!" the daughter remarked quite seriously again.
I finished in the bathroom and went to the van. I got in the van and shared my adventure with Hotstuff and started laughing. I dont' think I have ever had an adventure to the bathroom that left me laughing.
So there you have it: the funniest Bathroom adventure Ever!!!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Miss May turns 5! and no "wardrobe malfunctions"

So my baby girl turned 5 on Feb.1st- Super bowl Sunday. I was orginally due on the 25th of January. I remember one of Hotstuff's cousin in-laws (and yes that is a real word) jokingly told me that I would have her on super bowl sunday. I prayed that I wouldn't and with the help of my doctor I was induced on Jan. 31st. I was sure that I was going to have her that day.

16 1/2 hours of labor, 2 epidurals, one narcotic and one blessing later, she came. 21 minutes after midnight, I brought my baby girl into this world (with a whole lot of help from the other side). That day for us was marked by Miss May joining us- for the rest of you.... That was the Super bowl that Janet Jackson had the famous "wardrobe malfunction."

So we celebrated with a family party. Chicken Fettucine Alfredo (made from scratch) was served. I will forever be grateful for this incredible blessing and miracle in my life. She rescued me from my grief. She brings laughter and patience.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!


Monday, February 2, 2009

Bravest Boy EVER!!

The other day I had to take Miss May to the doctors. She was a very little girl with a very BIG cold. While I was there I asked the doc about a few extras that I had been slacking on.... like immunizations for Bubba Jones. (I am so getting the worst mother of the year award!)
"Sure, no problem! We can do what is needs today and you come back in six months for the last shot," the doctor tells me. Now my doctor is a chicken..... he doesn't give the kids their shots, he makes the nurses do it. So, the nurse comes in with the tray and I lay Bubba Jones on the table and pull his pants down.
"Okay honey," she says. "This is just a little poke."
She cleans his leg... gives him the shot and... NOTHING!!!!!
NOT a cry, whimper, or tears! NOTHING!!!
I stand him back up, pull up his pants and he walks away as if nothing happened.
So any of you out there know a braver little boy.... let me know.